The Unmet friend within

Scan 1962

It’s been particularly windy lately in The Windy City. For me as a bike rider, I have regarded wind as the enemy. Every morning I check the weather forecast and try to plan my ride around it.  Out of the north, south , east or west? MPH? Which direction will I suffer the most? Always wishing to start hard and end easy. There were days I abandoned the ride because I couldn’t psych myself up to battle the wind.

Today it was pretty damn windy. Not the worst but less than ideal. On the other hand it was the first warm day in awhile so I embarked on the journey. I left around 11:00 am and noticed there were not so many people out for such a beautiful Sunday. For a moment I entertained the thought that there were no runners on the path because of the Chicago Marathon. Immediately following that brilliant idea, I saw one, two three, four runners pass by.  Yep. Note to self: Not all runners are marathoners!

As I write this I am sitting in my yard and I will say that the wind is serious: whipping branches, leaves, table umbrellas and all renegade trash in the alley. By comparison, this morning was tame but none of these wind facts mattered because I was in an altered state. It was a crazy beautiful day, colors more vivid, water extra sparkly, and people reflecting the same joy I was feeling. I ditched my wind battle in body and in mind.

Suddenly the wind changed it’s attitude. No longer confrontational, it was instead loving. It circled me with invisible arms. stroked my hair, then messed it up mischievously! While the wind worked it’s magic on my senses, I began to have this thought. What if the key to happiness is letting go of judgement, impatience, and anger?  Sometimes I am like a giant walking clenched fist. As I move through life there’s always something in my way. If it’s not the wind it’s something else but the most vicious criticism is saved for myself. Why not relax and surrender? Is it possible to de-program a lifetime of bad behavior? Who would I be without those ugly things that lurk below the surface? A better friend, daughter, sister, artist? I don’t know for sure, but I want to meet that woman. The one who really only has love in her heart.



3 Responses to “The Unmet friend within”

  1. 1 Anayatzin Ortiz October 15, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    You are that woman! I think there is a constant battle within most of us, between the person we think we are and the person we want to be. We probably are a mix of those two and other stuff we are not completely conscious about…
    Send you the warmest hug!
    Your friend and accomplice in the seek of our better selves…

  2. 2 empathy75 November 11, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    You really have talent in writing . Thank for describing what I feel most of the time

  3. 3 theunmetfriend November 11, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    Thank you for saying that! We are definitely not alone on this path and it’s good to know you know what I mean 🙂

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